What a day, what a day!! Just as my fear about the financial limbo we are living in pushes me into nausea, I get news that shifts it in a blink! My step son Tyler, and his fiancee, Katie, call Lance and ask him to put them on speaker phone. He then proceeds to let us know that they are calling to give us our new "titles". New "titles", we ask? Yes, Grandpa and Grandma! Wow, what an incredible gift! I admit to them that I've been ooing and ahhing over my friend Margaret's beautiful grandaughter and feeling jealous. How this news lifted me! Why, I ask myself. Sure, it's cool news, but to be reduced to a sobbing with happiness mess for 10 minutes after the call goes beyond "cool news." I realize, that in the midst of facing so much uncertainity and possibly loss, an ending of sorts, there is always new life right around the cornor. I knew that, but how amazing it was to be reminded in such a perfect and literal way!!
I also got the pleasure of virtually walking with my son through the process of purchasing a new car. It was fun to be a part of it. Then I realize what I've been doing, as I've been struggling. Removing myself from the precious people...the members of my family...who know and love me the best. Whether they be my family by blood or family by spirit, I've got to remember that they are my touchstone. Always. Thanks for reminding me...especially Tyler, who has known intuitively his whole life the power and connection of family.
Love to all,
Linda

Sorry sweet blogspot, for abandoning you so completely over the last 8 months! I picture you sitting out here, in cold internet limbo, wondering when or if I'd visit again, to fill your pages. Ah, only I would think to assign human qualities to a blogspot!!

So, I'm here and it has been a bizarre, amazing, difficult and confusing 8 months. As far as writing, I've accomplished more than ever. Though I'm on the third chapter, I've had entire periods where I write every day and really live the story on the page. Other times, like now, I'm in a holding pattern. Part of that is due to a huge financial challenge that threatens to take me back out to the working world. I actually wouldn't mind that much at all, but all is in limbo and there is no clear answer about what way it will come done. Living day to day in that limbo is as big a challenge as I've ever faced. It's truly helping me let go of not just being in control, but knowing anything...and having to just trust, trust, and trust again that all has it's purpose and that my sub or super conscious volunteered for this experience. Too bad my conscious mind was not on board.

Then again, it's happened before in my past and my life came out on the other side more beautiful and profound. So, it will happen again...and again...and possibly again. Let's see, how many more dark night of the souls can I go through before I make the biggest leap? I'm 55 now...I'd say 4 or 5 more at the rate I'm going!!??

This probably won't make sense to anyone but me, and even that's a question mark. But if you are out there and "listening", thanks.

Love all, Linda