Silent Week, Deadly week

Hi all....what a week! After my success in outlining and beginning the book last week, I had an experience of "going backward" in my consciousness, or so I'm labeling it. Who knows what it was exactly. What I do know is that I was not motivated to write, get up in my office..and two days not even get out of bed. I had a myriad of dreams that truly messed with me: one where I was married to my ex, and Lance was with his ex, I was in a house being carried hapharzardly downstream in a flood crashing into a schoolbus, and the topper was dying of ovarian cancer in a hospice, giving up on life. My emotional life has been difficult, with bouts of sobbing, little anger 'fits' and wanting to withdraw from all. Towards the end of this week, I had a social evening planned with friends John, Louise, Robin and Mark. It was a blessing to focus on creating an "event" and though all didn't go as I'd hoped (from food & timing mishaps to inability to go out on the water), it was the highlight in my week. Now, I do believe that movements forward in consciousness will usually be counteracted by steps back. I also feel as though I am releasing more "baggage" and patterns that will not be carried on this journey. Whatever the reasoning, I am going to hang on to trusting that of which I am most passionate about in my life. Continuing to grow and learn as a conscious being, and use whatever gifts I have to offer that to others. Between getting back to doing energy sessions and writing this book, I'm at the cusp, if not feeling ready, to be of service.

Love to all...Linda

Correction

Just an example of my being a bit "out of it". We hung out with John and Louise on Friday, not Thursday, so that was most of that day. Time seems to be playing with me a bit these days, or my mind is playing a trick on time. Either way, when I stay really present, I notice it's hard to reconstruct what happened when. Not a bad side effect, just feels a bit "spacey".

days of silence

It's Sunday already and I've not written in the blog or the book. I feel fine about that, but I do miss being in my new creative space! I went up and put flowers in it today and will be back tomorrow to do some writing.

Lance and I had some fun adventures the last couple of days. We hung out with John and Louise the rest of Thursday (FUN!), spent Friday running some errands and just hanging out, biked over to our boat broker on Sat and had a long meeting with him re: getting our current boat on the market in Sept, and then went to see "Momma Mia" (what a totally campy and fun film!). Today I went back to the Farmer's Market and did some clothes shopping in La Jolla. Farmers' markets have become one of my favorite places. Bunches of unique and colorful flowers for $4.00, a local jewelery maker who created the pendant I now wear and associate with the writing of my book (it has "imagine" on it), and loads of local, organic, plush veggies and fruits. Other than fighting the crowds, it's right up there with eating ice cream for me.

The last three days I've been feeling a bit down. After the high of outlining my book, I believe I'm having a bit of a down spell. Probably spilling more uneeded ego attachments out so that there's even more room for creativity to move through. That's my story, anyway!

Love to all,
Linda Jane

success!

Lance and I lounged a bit this morning, mostly because there was a glorious silence emanating from the fishing boats. We ran some errands and I got up in my creative space later than I thought I would.

I opened up my computer, and went directly to book outline I had begun. In one hour, the entire book was outlined! The fruits of the rather constant focus I have on the content of the book. I find it on my mind when I'm falling asleep, walking, waking up in the morning, brushing my teeth. The backed up thoughts and ideas splashed onto the page with focused force. It was a great feeling!

I've got some research to do, so tomorrow I'll be working a bit on that. We are going to visit with friends John & Louise in the afternoon and evening and that's always a relaxing, fun time.

Grateful for it all. LJ

first day of school

Well I spent my first day in the new space. It was truly wonderful, and I found myself doing all kinds of busy work that will supposedly open the space to write my book outline. Interesting. I'm unwilling to be in judgment about it all, and I do feel like whatever other business I have to take care of is totally in order now. Can't help feel a bit disappointed that I didn't focus on the book.

I am "booked" into the space for a couple of hours again tomorrow and have no excuses but to focus on the book because all else is in order. Ah, it's that procrastination factor. No worries, it's already in the past and I will remain firmly in the present.

Much love to me and you, Linda

An amazing synchronicity

About two weeks ago I found myself gawking at the oval shaped office space that overlooks our marina in San Diego. It sits directly next to the Marina office and I knew it had been vacated by the previous tenant about 5 months ago. I wondered aloud to our Dockmaster (an amazing woman named Kathy O'Brien) about the space and it's availability. It occured to me as a perfect creative space for writing and possibly doing my energy sessions. She informed me that it was leased to a working writer, a woman who wasn't there frequently. On a hunch, I asked if she might be interested in sharing the space at all, so that I could have a spot to write, create, energize. Kathy promised she'd speak with this woman as soon as she saw her. The weeks went by and I heard nothing so I figured it might not work out. In addition, I was trying to figure out where I could spend some writing time tomorrow, when Captain Lance is out on a charter.

Then, this evening, I get a call from Kristi, the tenant. She invited me up to speak with her about sharing the space and I couldn't imagine the timing being better. In the midst of our meeting, we both realized it would be a perfect fit and I am going to be sitting in this perfect spot tomorrow, writing. The space exudes the warmth of terra cotta colored walls and the cool breeze of two doors that face each other, opening out to balconies that overlook our pretty little marina. Multi-colored and sized boats, sitting in slips with spots of ocean peaking through the openings between them. And beyond the boats, the outline of the San Diego bay in all it's cerulean sparkling glory.

I consider it a miracle and a big thumbs up from the universe!

a belated thanks

And thanks to my friend Louise, who reminded me that authors who complete books usually write everyday. Helped get me off my butt!

New chapter, new book

I'd like to think I'm exercising my writing muscle with this blog, and beginning the habit of writing something each day. So, here are my brief thoughts for today....

I have been doing research for the new book idea and would like to have the whole thing outlined by the end of this week. So, my declaration is that by this upcoming Sunday, July 20th, I will have a full outline of book and a list of any other research I need to do. I know I'm not sharing anything about the concept, but there's a method to my madness here. As my sister-in-law suggested, I'm not talking (or writing anyone) about the book because that means I'm not writing it! So, I'll write about my intentions and let all know what has been completed, but content will be kept undercover for now.

Again, thanks for reading/listening...

A new name?

When I started this blog, my intuition guided me to use the name Linda Jane. Some of you who know me may wonder why I'm using that, instead of my first and last name. Well, I'm not positive, since I don't normally question my intuition. My guess is that it has something to do with honoring my mother, Jane O'Keefe, who is now busy tending a heavenly garden. The story I heard about my name when I was born, was that my father, who was hoping for a boy unexpectedly decided he wanted to give me my first name. We lived in El Paso, Texas and he had many personal and work friends who spoke Spanish. He was almost fluent in the language and, despite his disappointment about my gender, he was impressed by my eyes when he first saw me as a baby. Later, in Mom's hospital room, he wanted to name me Linda (which means beautiful in spanish). My mom agreed, though wanted to give me a name too, so her first name became my middle. Linda Jane. (Caveat: this was a story my Mom once told me, and I wouldn't be totally shocked if it didn't go down exactly this way...she may have been trying to cheer me up one day when I was complaining about my Dad hating me!) I'll be honest, and never thought my mom's name was very pretty or impressive. But there is something cosmic about me having names both my parent's "gave" me. I like that. So, Linda Jane here.

It's a sunny and loud Sunday morning in the marina. We awoke to megaphone voices calling the day's fishermen out to sea. Our sweet 46' Hunter sailboat sleeps in a slip next door to a slew of fishing boats that haul the local guys out for early morning fishing each weekend. Even that raucous could not disturb the perfection of a San Diego morning on the ocean. We are truly blessed. I'm off to the local farmer's market to get groceries for the week and later today we are going to get a bike for me so Lance and I can tool around Shelter and Harbor Island.

Good morning world.

Virgin blogger

Well, it's my very first blog. I was inspired by my sister-in-law, a new author, and her description of why she blogs. Simply, she states, its because she loves to write. Blogging is the perfect practicum for that. Thanks Tena!

I also love writing and am working on an exciting idea for a book. A book I will write, this I declare. I've been afraid to speak about it much, even to myself, as doubts of finishing crowd in quickly. Frankly, I've had many ideas for books and been working on one or the other over the last 10 years. I've yet to complete a manuscript. There, I've said it and no hammer of judgment pounded me, as it would have before. So, what's changed....??

Focusing on the past is losing all grip on me. Focusing on the future is next to go. Bottom line, all I'm in is this moment and in this moment I'm excited about starting this blog and writing this book.

Thanks for listening/reading!